Caranaear
by Cailen
Summary: Red Sea, this is my name and this is my curse. Am I the daughter of the victims or the daughter of the kinslayers?
1. Chapter 1

_The story of the silmarillion and all characters of the Silmarillion are owned by the Tolkein Estate. All other characters belong to me._

Many of us have few memories of our childhood. Often they are memories of happy times, but sometimes it's the unhappy memories that are the most vivid. A memory that often returns in the form of a nightmare that plagues the mind into weariness. It is in my dreams that a pair of blue eyes haunt me, eyes rimmed with tears and a voice. A voice full of sorrow and crowned with pity, pity for who I was and whom she thought I would become.

"Caranaear is the name that I bestow upon thee child. May you always remember who you are," the voice whispers.

Red Sea! That is name that the voice of my mother gave me. Red for the blood that was spilt and sea for where the blood was lost. This is my name and this is my curse, to remember that I am stranded between two cultures, those of the victims and those of the kinslayers.

I once thought that it was I who was forgotten, but years of my own heartache and heartache from those whom I loved around me, made me realize that it was not I who the Valar turned their backs on. I was born into the curse and plagued by the oath. Born at a time of pure light of the two trees, but darkened by the shadow of the wicked. If I could have the choice to be born again, would I choose another path or would I choose to be born again to Elrilma of the Teleri and to Maedhros son of Feanor.

_Caranaear is pronounced like(karen-eye-are)_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer still as before. I don't own the story or the characters of the Silmarillion and nothing is being earned out of its use, just my enjoyment. Any new characters and the story of Caranaear belong to me. 

Authors note: This story is not in canon with Tolkiens storyline, but that is the great thing about fanfiction, I can write it as I choose. :-) I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. This chapter has not been revised by a beta. If anyone would like to edit this please let me know. Thanks :-)

Part I

Chapter Two- The Beginning

The rays of Telperion spilled its silvery rays on the morning dew, though the early morning silence had long ago been shattered by the clash of metal as two ellons, one large and the other small, practiced swordplay.

"One, two, three, four," instructed the tall red haired ellon as the metal swords clanked together.

"Again," he ordered as he brought his long sword to a beginning stance and swung at his young opponent, "one, two, three, four." They repeated the motion again and again until the young ellon was swinging back with confidence.

"That was good Celebrimbor. Now lets try moving in a circle as I call out the positions," he suggested. The red haired ellon moved his strong arms as he brought his sword to a opening pose and stared at the young challenger with readiness.

Intimidated by his uncle he refused to meet his eyes, instead he looked at his uncles broad shoulders. The young dark haired ellon brought his sword to his side and sighed in frustration, "Uncle Maedhros is it really necessary to learn swordplay, especially so early in the morning."

Maedhros blue eyes glared at his nephew critically. "Everything has a time and a place nephew. So remember that as well as remember your positions. So lets try this again with the movement," he encouraged.

The pair again clashed their swords and slowly circled one another. Above the sound of metal hitting metal, a running horse could be heard in the distance thundering down the dirt path.

"Lord Maedhros," the rider shouted, but his voice fell upon deaf ears.

"Maedhros," he tried again urgently.

Maedhros paused mid swing when he heard his named called and turned to face the fast approaching rider. Recognizing him as one of his personal guards he glanced to his young opponent. "Stay where you are Celebrimbor. I will be back momentarily," he commanded.

"Maedhros," the rider cried a final time, obviously winded as his breath raced.

"Thalion, what is it?" he asked as he rushed to the guard.

"Its Elrilma, Maedhros. It is time," Thalion informed him as he removed himself from the saddle his black hair blowing about him.

Maedhros stood there in stunned silence as though staring at nothing. Thalion observed his odd behavior in confusion. "Did you not hear me," he exclaimed. "The baby is coming. I was sent to bring you back. You must make haste."

Maedhros blinked his eyes as if clearing the fog from his mind. "Its time," he whispered quietly.

"Aye," Thalion nodded in agreement.

The full clarity of his words registered with Maedhros. In a panic he turned his attention to Thalion's horse. "By Eru, what am I doing? Where am I going?" he asked as if perplexed by his own questions. He went to grab the reigns from the guards hand when he realized his own were already occupied.

"Oh by the Valar I don't need a sword," he declared as he tossed the sword to Thalion.

Thalion chuckled his gray eyes bright with merriment, "go my friend take my horse. Get to your wife. Be gone!"

Maedhros jumped onto the animals back with swiftness and guided the horse towards Thalion. "Tell Celebrimbor that I go to fetch his new cousin," he teased as he nudged the horse forward.

"Good luck my friend," Thalion shouted to the retreating form of Maedhros.

Maedhros entered the white towering entrance gate of the fortress of Formenos. Curious bystanders watched as the red haired lord galloped through the cobblestone streets as though the Valar themselves were at his heals. His mind too was in a whirl wind of turmoil as his mind raced with anxiety of not making it in time, to the realization that he was going to be a father. He wasn't sure which thought dizzied him more.

After climbing the final hill to the main house, he jumped off his horse and ran up the marble steps two at a time. As he entered the long hall he heard excited voices visiting with one another. His instinct told him to follow the raised voices as he strode through the corridor lined with tapestries of Valinor that his grandmother Miriel had woven before she had faded into the halls of Mandos centuries ago.

As he entered the main room he stopped to calculate who was in the room and it was to his relief that it was his brothers who were gathered around the fireplace as though nothing of excitement was occurring. The twins Amras and Amrod were seated on a red lounge debating over an unknown topic. Across from them sat dark Caranthir and crafty Curufin who were playing a rather intense game of chess. In the shadowed corner sat Celegorm his handsome face set in concentration as he sharpened his lengthy dagger as his hound Huan lay at his feet. As Maedhros turned to the fireplace which was in the middle of the room he observed Maglor, his closes brother in age and in heart, resting his arm on the mantel as his blue eyes stared into the roaring flame.

"Brothers," Maedhros hailed as he entered the room. "Is anything amiss? Is everything all right."

Maglor's looked up from the fire to his brother as he wiped away a strain of dark hair that fell across his fair face and he smiled in welcome. "Its about time. I thought I would have to come and fetch you myself. I was afraid you might have ran the horse the opposite direction in the all the confusion," he teased.

Maedhros smiled in return as he neared Maglor, "I am confident that Thalion watched me as I rode away to make sure that something of that nature would not happen, but forget the pleasantries. What is the situation? Where is Elrilma?"

Never looking up from his game board Caranthir replied nonchalantly, "She is giving birth."

Maedhros eyed Caranthir with irritation. "I know that already or I would not be here. Where have they taken her."

"She has been moved to your bedchamber," Maglor informed him as the others watched with curiosity. Not waiting for any further information, Maedhros turned to make a quick exit when with hesitation Maglor spoke behind him, "Maedhros... I think it would be best if you remained here."

Stopping sharply, Maedhros turned to his brother in confusion. "What do you mean," he questioned.

"I mean that you are not needed in the bed chamber," Maglor stated with certainty.

Maedhros face fell and his eyes blazed with anger. "What you are really trying to say is that I'm not wanted in the bed chamber," he said with bitterness.

All the brothers stopped their activities and turned their attention on Maglor who stood rigid with his mouth slightly open trying to find words that would ease him out of the hole that he had dug himself into.

Maedhros aggressively came closer to Maglor. "Is that not what you meant brother," he asked harshly.

Bringing his hands up as though to shield himself, Maglor answered defensively "Nay Maedhros they are not my words. You know that it is not my wish to keep you away."

"Damn her," Maedhros roared as he beat his hand on a side table knocking off a small blue vase.

The others sat their in utter silence, unsure what to say or what to do. Maglor too stood quietly as he watched his brother extract his anger.

"I can not believe that she would use something as important as this as part of her vendetta against me," he thundered. Completely deflated, Maedhros leaned both his hands on the table for support and inhaled sharply. "Never...," he murmured, "never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that she would go this far, ever!"

Curufin approached Maedhros in silent support. "Brother," he said softly "now is not the time to show your anger towards her. Though her method to you may seem of the cruelest degree, it is not uncommon for fathers to not be present at the birth. Remember that father was not present at any of our births."

Maedhros looked at Curufin in defeat. "Nay he was not," he agreed, "but that was because no one could not find him in time. He was always to deep in his forge."

Curufin sighed in frustration, "That may be true, but I was not present for the birth of Celebrimbor and that fact did not diminish the joy I felt upon holding him in my arms the first time." he advised.

Maedhros moved from the table and dropped himself into one of the side chairs. After rubbing his hands over his face as though wiping away his anger, he rested his arms to his side and raised his head. "I know that when I see the babe that I will feel nothing but joy"  
he confirmed. "It is in the days to come I dread. I know that it is Elrilma that has denied my wish. One thing that I asked was to be by her side and to show her defiance against me she turns me away."

Celegorm eased himself out of his chair and sat his dagger down on the table. He came closer to Maedhros. "Are things that badly off between the two of you that she would truly do this on purpose," he questioned.

Maedhros shifted his gaze to Celegorm's fair face and frowned. "It is as bad as it can be I wager," he said.

All the brothers were aware that there was extreme tension between Maedhros and Elrilma since he brought her to Formenos from her home by the see in Alqualonde, but they never witnessed their arguments. What they were not aware of was the fact that their eldest brother battled almost daily with his wife.

Celegorm mindful of his brothers defeated state attempted to warm his heart. "Do not fret at the situation at hand Maedhros. It will mend itself in due time," he said warmly.

Just as Maedhros was about to reply in agreement, a loud voice bellowed in welcome from behind him. It was Feanor son of Finwe, his father.

Maedhros shut his eyes in distress. Now was not the moment that he wanted to deal with his father. He possessed great love for this ellon, but when he was dealing with emotional circumstance concerning his wife, his father's bravado was not something he wanted to hear.

"My sons, tis a happy day for the house of Finwe," Feanor greeted.

Trying to transform his dejected face, Maedhros turned to his father with a fabricated smile. "Aye, tis a happy day father," he said graciously as he approached him and looked into what seemed like the all and knowing eyes of Feanor son of Finwe.

Feanor aware that his eldest sons smile was false, chose to ignore it. "Has there been any news regarding my new grandson's arrival." he asked assertively.

"Nay there was been no news as of yet," Maglor answered.

"I was in my forge when news came to me that Maedhros wife was giving birth. I was confident that by the time I returned that the babe would be here, but it must take longer for the daughters of the Teleri to birth, especially a child of Noldorion blood," he stated smugly.

None of the brothers, including Maedhros, missed the insult that was flung at the mother to be. They were all aware at the disapproval that Feanor cast upon his eldest when he chose one of the Teleri to be his wife and from that day Feanor never attempted to hide his dislike for the small elleth.

"It does take time father. Every elleth is different," Curufin defended.

Amrod who had sat silent through all the emotional drama decided to breakthrough the tension. "Aye they all differ, but if you compare them to mother who became a master after seven sons than I deem that any elleth would be considered slow," he joked.

Feanor nodded in a agreement. "Your mother was a force to reckon with and still is," he laughed. "Why do you think I stayed in my forge for as long as I did during each of your births." All the males chuckled in amusement.

"Aye that would be a good reason," Maedhros agreed.

With the tension finally broken. A sense of ease and brotherly camaraderie fell upon the group as they sat and waited together, recalling stories of their youth. Feanor not contributing to his son's discussions rather watched them in observation as the brothers conversed. Deep down in his heart a small pang of jealousy was felt against his sons that they could share such fellowship with one another, when he was estranged from his own half brothers.

Though he knew the estrangement to be part of his own making it still did not set well with him to watch the easiness between his sons and to be honest, it was his own jealousy that turned him against Elrilma as he watched Maedhros be loved by his beautiful wife. He was envious of their love and jealous of the fact that he no longer shared that bond with his own wife Nerdanel who had left him many years prior. Feanor was always jealous of what he didn't have and blind to the things he did.

It was during this quiet contemplation of Feanor, that Maedhros directed his gaze to his father. He watched his father eyes in fascination as Feanor's guard was down and his blue eyes projected his sadness though his face was as hard as stone. Maedhros always knew that eyes were the window to the soul, but he had never witnessed such pain as his father watched his brothers.

Feanor became uneasy as he felt a gaze upon him and he turned his attention to his eldest son. In shock that his father caught his stare, Maedhros quickly diverted his eyes to Maglor who looked at him and tilted his head in questions. Maedhros just shook his head as if to discourage Maglor from any further interaction between them. He hesitantly look back at his father who still had his eyes upon him and when he looked into those startling blue eyes, he beheld nothing but emptiness.

"Maedhros, do you not agree I am innocent," Amras asked.

Maedhros directed his attention to his youngest brother. "I'm sorry Amras, what did you say," he said his expression confused.

"I asked you if you thought I was innocent in the affair of Amrod putting that slimy frog into mothers bureau draw." he asked again.

Leaning back into his chair, Maedhros judged his brothers smirking face.

"I still state I am innocent," Amras defended with a comical flare.

Maedhros recalling the conversation at hand smiled and answered, "Nay I do not agree with your innocence. If you did not put the frog in her drawer than you are the one who thought of the idea."

"See," Amrod shouted as he stood in triumph, "I am not the only guilty party here."

His victory was short lived when a feminine voice could be heard calling down the large hall. "Maedhros," she called in a urgent voice.

Standing swiftly, Maedhros left his seat and rushed to the doorway almost knocking the small dark haired lady off her feet. Reaching out a strong hand he reached for the lady and steadied himself and her. He recognized her, she was Morithil the wife of his brother Amras and she too was waiting the birth of their first child. Making sure all was well Maedhros looked down to her large stomach in concern. "Are you alright," he asked.

Reaching down to comfort the large mound that rested in her stomach she smiled sweetly.  
"Aye all is well for you and for I," she announced openly.

Maedhros looked at her with seriousness. "Is it Elrilma?" he asked.

She raised her hand to his face and smiled with joy. "I have come to tell you all is well with her and the babe" she said with mirth.

"Than my grandson has made his entrance into the world?" Feanor voiced over the others.

"Nay, my lord," she said in amusement.

"What do you mean Morithil," Amras asked as he neared his wife.

"No grandson has entered the world, my lord," she stated, "but a granddaughter has." She turned her gaze from Feanors stunned face to that of Maedhros who's face was frozen in astonishment.

"A daughter?" he asked to make sure he heard her clearly.

"Aye brother, a beautiful daughter," she revealed again. She watched his face turn from astonishment to absolute delight as he smiled with pure happiness.

Suddenly without any thought of her condition Maedhros swept her into an embrace of pure joy. "A daughter," he murmured in merriment as he held her tight.

Releasing her from his hug, he turned to his brothers in delight. "I have a daughter," he declared. His brothers came to him in congratulations, but in the corner stood his father with a solemn look on his face.

_elleth-female elf_

_ellon-male elf_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer still as before. I don't own the story or the characters of the Silmarillion and nothing is being earned out of its use, just my enjoyment. Any new characters and the story of Caranaear belong to me._

_Authors note: Again I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. This chapter has not been revised by a beta. Soothing burn I just wanted to thank you for your review it does inspire me to write :-) and I will try to update as fast as I can._

_Chapter 3 - What now?_

Echoing footsteps were the only sound that could be heard as Maedhros made his way down the vast hall. His usually strong side was rather unhurried as though his legs were slowly dragging him to a place that he did not wish to go. Though his handsome face was set with worry, his blue eyes were bright and shining. He was a walking contradiction. 

The high that he experienced upon hearing the news of his daughter's birth had slowly been replaced by trepidation with each step that drew him closer to his wife and daughter. His emotions at the moments were rather raw from experiencing so many feelings in one day. It was amazing to him that one could feel so much at once. That each emotion in itself was strong, but to carry them all at once was exhausting.

He did not fear seeing his daughter; he rather was overjoyed at the thought. It was seeing Elrilma that stirred his heart with anxiety, for he was uncertain what to say. His anger at her had not lessened as the hours had passed, if anything it was reinforced by his feeling of betrayal that was pushing its way into his heart.

He fisted his hands at his side as he walked and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He fought to find his control. Maedhros knew that now was not the time to confront her, but he knew that there was never going to be a good time.

He chuckled bitterly to himself. That is exactly what she had told him before he had left this morning with Celebrimbor, but all he understood was his anger.

Flashback

Maedhros walked onto the balcony and stretched his strong arms into the air and yawned. His eyes inspected the new morning with contentment. The morning light glimmered merrily on the white railing warming the stone with its caress.

Sitting on a gray bench with her back to him, Elrilma sat in silence as a gentle breeze blew her silver strands softly about her.

Not noticing she had an audience her green eyes gazed towards the west where her home rested on the shore of the sea.

Rubbing her swollen belly contently, she dreamed. She closed her eyes reverently as she imagined the morning light gleaming on the bright blue waters, shimmering with a silver accent. She could lightly hear the call of the gulls as they flew overhead and she could faintly smell the salt of the ocean as the wind blew across her fair face. By the Valar how she missed her family. Breathing deeply in concentration she did not notice Maedhros behind her.

He stood by her and reached out to caress her neck. Maedhros felt her flinch with surprise.

Elrilma quickly turned around and her eyes lifted up to meet his face and she smiled warmly. "Good morning my love," she greeted as she reached out to take his hand.

Entwining his fingers with hers, Maedhros bent down slightly and kissed her lips softly in welcome. "Good morning," he said against her lips.

Standing tall he gently tugged her hand to pull her up as she struggled to stand with her protruding belly. She smiled and held tight to him as she gained her balance.

Maedhros wrapped one arm around her protectively. "Come let us eat," he suggested,  
"the servants have brought fruit onto the balcony so we may enjoy the morning."

She nodded in agreement as he led her to the white table that was littered with colorful fruits. With out a word she sat and reached for an orange and began peeling the skin.

Maedhros watched her with a half smile upon his face. "What were you thinking on Elrilma," he asked as he reached for an apple.

"Just how tired I am," she answered trying to keep her voice from shaking.

Maedhros not convinced of her reply leaned forward on the table and looked straight into her eyes. "That you may be," he said, "but something else in on your mind."

Seeing the determination in his blue eyes, Elrilma had to think of something other than her homesickness. She sighed, "I'm just a little worried about the birth." She turned her eyes back to the west.

Maedhros noticed the direction her eyes focused upon. He reached for her hands across the table and held them lovingly.

"There is nothing to fear. All will be well."

She looked back at him and smiled weakly. "Aye, that I know, but still," she whispered faintly.

He caressed his large thumbs over the top of her hands in comfort. "You will have an easy time dear one. We have the finest healers and I will be there with you," he reassured her.

She pulled her hands away from his slowly and sat tall. "There will be no need for that."

Puzzled, Maedhros stared at her. "What do you mean?"

"Your presence will not be needed."

"Is that a command or a suggestion," he inquired as his eyes glared at her coldly.

She sat back against the chair wearily. "This is a request. I would be most comfortable without you there. I do not mean it as an insult. I just do not want you to see me in such pain Maedhros. I do not wish for you to feel guilty for my discomfort. Many elleth's prefer it this way and I am one of them."

Annoyed and offended, his temper was getting the best of him. Maedhros stoop abruptly sliding his chair away angrily. "I do respect what you wish my lady," he said formally,  
"but this is something that I intend to be apart of."

He walked away from her and stood facing the railing, his red hair blowing wild as the east wind grew stronger.

Pushing herself up awkwardly from the chair, she carefully went to Maedhros and cautiously wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her face against his broad back. She could feel his muscles tighten from her touch.

"Maedhros please," she pleaded, "I do not wish to fight with you, not now. I very tired,  
let us discuss this later."

Turning in her arms his face was gloomy like a drizzle cloud. He nonetheless put his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace.

"Time is getting away from us, " he warned his breath warm against her ear.

Moving from his hold Elrilma stood on her toes and kissed his lips lightly. "There is time,  
but for now I must rest. We will discuss this later, but for now I am confident that Celebrimbor awaits his lesson."

Putting both hands on each side of her face, he brought her closer and nuzzled her nose with his. She laughed softly and wrinkled her nose to ward off the tickle that continued to twitch.

"Until tonight than," he said, a faint smile upon his lips as he pulled away.

Maedhros walked through the arched doors and left her alone.

Once he was gone, Elrilma's smile faded as she hugged herself. Though she loved Maedhros fiercely, she had hated this place even more. She squinted her eyes against the white walls of the fortress of Formenos, her self proclaimed prison.

Longingly she looked west and her eyes blurred as she thought of what laid beyond the walls. A small tear escaped and ran slowly down her pale cheek. She wiped it away and sniffed back the other tears that were threatening to fall. She rubbed her stomach lovingly.  
"Soon my heart we will be home, " she thought sadly.

Unexpectedly a blazing pain shot through her stomach. Elrilma grasped for the railing for support as she doubled over in pain. "It's time, It's time," her mind screamed.

Leaning against the stone balcony she waited for the pain to ease. Looking over the railing she saw the large silver gate open as a rider with red hair accompanied by a dark haired lad rode out of the fortress.

Making her way to the door, she shut her eyes in pain as she walked slowly through the archway. "There's no time," she whimpered to herself. She realized as she made her way through the hall that Maedhros would never understand her choice. Her hands trembled as she inched herself from one pillar to another.

A dark hair servant named Giliel noticed her slow approach. Quickly setting down the tray she carried, she rushed to Elrilma's side. "My lady," she cried.

Elrilma let go of the pillar and grabbed the young elleth for support. "Giliel I must get to my chamber, please help me."

It happened that Giliel's cry had caught the attention of another servant. "My lady what can I do?" he asked as he ran towards them, "should I send for Lord Maedhros?"

Elrilma grunted in pain again, "yes, send Thalion quickly and find Maglor. Tell him to keep Maedhros with him."

"But my lady?" the servant hesitated.

"Just do it," she ordered roughly as the pain became worse. She gripped Giliel harder and panted as her heart raced, "There's not time for Maedhros Giliel, the child is coming!"

End of flash back

Maedhros had finally reached the dark wooden door to his chamber. He sighed nervously. With a deep breathe he slowly opened the heavy door and peaked into the large room.

Gaining more courage as the door opened fully, he entered and looked around the chamber till his eyes rested on a tall elleth who leaned over the bed.

Noticing Maedhros, the elleth turned her gray eyes to him and stood tall. "Lord Maedhros," she greeted quietly.

Recognizing her as Elaneth the head healer of Formenos, Maedhros nodded his head in greeting. "Lady Elaneth, how fairs my wife and child?" he asked as he moved closer to the bed.

"Both are well my lord, though your wife needs plenty of rest," she replied as she gently laid her hand on Elrilma's forehead to check her temperature.

"I am relieved to hear that. I am indebted to you for your services for my family Lady Elaneth." He reached out to grasp her free hand in thanks.

"That is not necessary my lord, though you are most welcome," she said.

Maedhros smiled at her, "but you have it all the same."

"If you have any questions or concern please send for me," she informed him. She patted his hand reassuringly and proceeded to walk to the door, leaving Maedhros alone with his wife.

"My lady," he called quietly to her retreating form.

She turned to him. "Yes my lord."

"Where have they taken our daughter?"

"The child is next door. That room is much warmer for her," she exclaimed.

He nodded in acknowledgement. "Again my many thanks for everything," he said as he turned his attention to his wife who slept deeply.

"You are most welcome," Elaneth replied as she opened the door and left the room.

Dusk was slowly setting over the white walls of Formenos. Its once pale exterior was now colored with hues of pink and orange as the light leisurely retreated from the sky.

That same pastel glow filtered through the frosted glass onto Maedhros face as he stood looking out of the window. Everything seemed to be bathed in the pink light including the fair face of his wife.

Maedhros looked back to his sleeping wife and walked to the bed to sit at her side. He watched her tenderly as she breathed deeply. These were the rare moments that would be forever burned into his memory. It was the warmth and stillness that made time stand still for him as his stared at her.

Maedhros just sat still looking at her delicate features, which were framed by her long silver hair. The evidence of her struggle was present as small strands were plastered to her once sweaty brow.

The light had almost gone from the sky when he slowly reached his hand and lovingly caressed the side of her face. As if relishing in his warmth, Elrilma turned her face even more into his palm and sighed deeply. He stroked his thumb over her cheek in comfort and watched her lips open slightly as she took a deep breath.

Her beauty always astounded him and her lips always bewitched him, with either her sweet voice or her tender kisses. No matter what fell words might ever escape from those pink lips, he would always love her. There was no doubt of that and even though his hurt ran deep, he doubted his heart would ever be able to sever the chain that bound him to her and his love was something his pride nor his father would ever be unable to undo.

Elrilma shifted slightly and opened her green eyes and winced from discomfort. She glanced around the room until her eyes focused on Maedhros. Somewhat anxious by his nearness she stirred her body trying to push herself upright.

Maedhros gently pushed on her shoulders to lay her back down. "Do not try to sit up Elrilma. Lady Elaneth has ordered you to rest," he warned.

Defeated from exhaustion she conceded and eased herself back onto the pillow, her eyes never leaving Maedhros'.

Confident that she laid peacefully, he eased himself back onto the edge of the bed to sit near her. He waited for her to speak.

"Have you seen our daughter," she asked tensely.

"Nay I have not for I wanted to see you first."

Not wanting to meet his gaze, Elrilma looked at the doors that went into the adjoining room. "Morthil," she explained, "has put her in the room adjoining ours."

He could sense her uneasiness and he knew it was because of him. "So I have been told"  
he said as he reached for her hand to calm her anxiety.

Not knowing what he intended Elrilma flinched her hand away.

"So it has come to this?" he asked bitterly.

She hesitantly looked up to him and his once tender face was now cold with indifference,  
his pride had finally won. Not surprised by his hard eyes she glared back at him.

"Why are you really here Maedhros?" she asked sharply.

As if stabbed in the gut by her words, Maedhros stood quickly and scowled at her. "What a question to ask my dear," he sneered, "I did not think that I had to have a reason to see you my lady wife, but it appears that I must."

Not saying a word Elrilma just watched him as he paced for a second and returned to her side. "I am here my lady to verify that you are well, though I am sure that I could have relied on the word of the healers or servants." His faced frowned even more. "I felt it was my duty to see for myself that you and my daughter were well, but forget about duty," he waved his hand in the air and spat angrily, "don't you think I should see you now since I wasn't here for the birth?"

Taken aback by his forceful words Elrilma turned her face away and closed her eyes with regret. She knew he would be angry by not being by her side, but never did she think that he would be so wounded.

Even more agitated by her silence, Maedhros approached her again and glared at her,  
"what say you to my charge, wife!"

Gaining a small amount of courage she turned to him. "How does it feel to be denied something you long for," she demanded.

"What is it you desire that I have so long have denied you? I have given you everything I possibly could."

Her anger finally matched his and she raised herself up on her elbows."No," she said as she shook her head, "you have not given me my hearts desire. My dearest wish is to return to Alqualonde and for years it has been denied to me."

His face blank, Maedhros said nothing and walked away from the bed.

"Well?" Elrilma inquired to his back.

He turned to her as he opened the door. "I am going to see my daughter and this conversation is over," he answered. He walked through the door and closed it behind him.

Elrilma stared at the closed door as tears fell down both cheeks. "Valar, hear me," she prayed, "help me, help my family!" She laid back down and cried softly, for in her heart she was sure she was losing her husband.

Maedhros leaned against the door and closed his eyes in frustration. His encounter with Elrilma did not go as he wanted. He rubbed his hand over his face, "damn my temper," he thought coldly.

He pushed himself away from the door and walked across the room to the small crib that sat near the fireplace. He approached the small bundle as quiet as he could.

He smiled as he looked down upon his small daughter. He was a father and with this came great responsibility. One of his greatest fears was failure and somehow he was panicked at the thought of failing this small treasure. His own troubled relationship with his own father only inspired him to fight harder. He would not fail her, that was his promise to her and himself.

Wrapped in a blue blanket his daughter laid sleeping soundly as her father stared at her. Maedhros reached out and brought her into his arms. He kissed her soft head of hair and smiled as he thought she smelt like vanilla.

"You are no doubt my daughter," he chucked to himself. Like her father, the child had inherited the red hair of her grandmother Nerdanel, a trait that few Possessed.

Gently cradling her, Maedhros heard the door behind him open, thinking maybe it was Elrilma, he glanced over his shoulder to see that it was not her, but his father Feanor.

He walked to his son, his face blank and his eyes dark. He spoke no words as he gazed upon the innocent wrapped bundle in Maedhros' arms. All he could see of her was a tuft of golden red hair.

Father and son's eyes locked and for the first time in many years a small smile escaped from Feanor's lips.

Astonished by his fathers smile, Maedhros sat motionless and awaited his father judgment.

"She will look like Nerdanel I think," Feanor predicted as he sat by his son, "let us hope she has not inherited her grandmothers temper as well."

Maedhros chucked in amusement. "Aye," he agreed," Let us hope she has taken more after Elrilma on temperament."

Without a reply, Feanor stood quickly and the smile that he once possessed was lost.

Maedhros sensed his fathers uneasiness and watched as he walked to the door.

Feanor stopped at the entrance and turned back to look at his son and the bundle in his arms. He hesitated as if wishing to speak, but without a word or acknowledgment he proceeded to leave and shut the door behind him.

Maedhros turned his attention back to his daughter and he observed her as she slept.

"May the valar keep our bond strong," he prayed as he picked up her small hand with his large on, "for you will always be my daughter."


End file.
